I have never met anyone capable of saying “beautiful.” I have never met anyone strong enough to comment on the wonders of the world that way. Are you capable of saying beautiful? Are you strong enough? When the word slips out does it taste awkward and new? Strange and unused? Are you sincerely commenting on the world?
Does he tell you that you are beautiful when you are shattering? When you are sitting in the bathroom in a pool of tears wondering why you keep going? Does he hold you like you are made of porcelain? Does he watch you dream, wishing you would wake up to say your watercolor face is beautiful? If he does he is capable. He is strong enough.
You’ll feel like you aren’t strong enough sometimes. You’ll feel like you want to scream, but you can hardly whisper. You scoff and roll your eyes and sarcastically say it’s beautiful, even if you love the old lace, memories, and flowers. If you are not ready to speak your truth to someone, if you are not ready to be your true, vulnerable, and floral self, then chances are they are not worthy of knowing it. But you’ll beat yourself up, because you’re scared. You don’t owe them anything.
There’s a world out there, my dear, and it’s confusing to try to understand what you are going to do with it. Because part of you wants to know where the outside goes, and the other part in terrified. And are you ever going to let us know? Are you actually going to fly away, or are you only going to live in you mind. I beg you, go outside. Go outside with your new ability to say “beautiful” and find the things in the world worth seeing.