Monstrous

I am Monstrous.

mon·strous
ˈmänstrəs
adjective
  1. having the ugly or frightening appearance of a monster.
    “monstrous, bug-eyed fish”
    • (of a person or an action) inhumanly or outrageously evil or wrong.
      “he wasn’t lovable, he was monstrous and violent”

Too little human,

hu·man
ˈ(h)yo͞omən/
adjective
adjective: human
  1. 1.
    relating to or characteristic of people or human beings.
    “the human body”
    • of or characteristic of people as opposed to God or animals or machines, especially in being susceptible to weaknesses.
      “they are only human, and therefore mistakes do occur”
    • of or characteristic of people’s better qualities, such as kindness or sensitivity.
      “the human side of politics is getting stronger”

    Yet not enough monster.

    mon·ster
    ˈmänstər/
    noun
    1. 1.
      an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening.

    I’m not the imaginary creature hidden beneath your bed or under your closet,

    I’m not the thing you spot in corners of dark streets at too late times of the nights,

    I’m the constant fear hidden in the deapths of your mind,

    I’m the worry eating away at every ounce of your being, everyday,

    I’m what makes you doubt yourself in every possible way

    Try and fish me out,

    Poking and prodding until one day you realize, you didn’t get me out,

    You tore yourself to pieces

    You realize that I’m not real,

    I’m you.

    I’m the hatred you feel for yourself multiplied so I’m bigger than any love you can feel

    I’m the anxiety before a grade comes in,

    before you find out who got the promotion,

    and even worse,

    I’m the doubt that comes with it.

    I’m fear in a human form,

    but if you get too close, watch out,

    at first glance I’m the small and innocent girl across the street,

    see me once, and see purity,

    see me twice, and experience evil.

    Offer me a smile and I’ll wink back at you with a coal black eye and blood red smile.

     

     

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