a n x i e t y attack.

seconds seem like hours
hours seem like seconds
my hands tremble
my hands are numb
my heart aches
my heart hurts
please, make this stop
it doesn’t stop
it won’t stop
this is forever
“this is intertwined with you” my mind shouts
my inner voice shouts at my own head
pleads for this to come to an end
this is unbearable
why is everyone looking at me?
why am i sweating so much?
why is this room so light? someone turn the lights out.
oh my god, i’m going to die!
we’re all going to die someday
i don’t want to die.
someone reaches out to me
grabs my hand,
i freeze.
i look at the person in front of me and i know they’re speaking
i can’t hear anything
my ears are buzzing
i’m yearning for this to come to an end
no one understands
no one knows how this feels
tears stream down my cheeks
the person in front of me reaches out to me with a cup of water
i grab it
half of the liquid pours out the cup into my jeans
a cold feeling
this feels good within the fire my body is in
my hands are still shaking
i grab the pill the person has in their hand and put it in my mouth
i grab the cup and take a sip, shaking
the room isn’t light
my ears aren’t buzzing as much
my hands aren’t shaking as much as i lay in bed
my heart isn’t beating at a thousand miles per second
it isn’t aching
my head’s aching now
my eyes feel heavy
i close them
i let out a deep, shaky breath.
time for my body and mind to rest
tomorrow is another day
my a n x i e t y doesn’t define me
i’m not my illness
tomorrow is going to be a better day…
tomorrow is going to be a better day.