It’s Who You Love.

It’s Who You Love.  

Dear …,

I want you to know that how you feel isn’t crazy.  I know that it seems scary and like you’re doing the wrong thing by loving as you want to. It takes so much courage and strength to love openly and freely…. I promise you can do it no matter how tough it may seem. I know that you’re afraid things will get messy with your family finding things out and that they may not be the most accepting at first but this doesn’t mean you need to live constantly fearing what comes next.  I’ll keep this short, I just want you to know that you are strong and you’re the author of your own life. Be bold, I love you. – MT

I’ve never understood the individuals who are hateful towards people who do not allow society to put a label on their love.  Friendships, families, communities etc. are being torn apart by the societal expectation that an individual needs a label in order to fit in.  These are the individuals that fail to understand, It’s Who You Love.  It’ll never be up to them to decide how you feel.  

This serves as a message to the individuals out there that are living in apprehension, WHO YOU LOVE, IS WHO YOU LOVE. A message to those who think they are  “different”, the ones who can’t form the same intimate connection with one gender, however, instantly click with another, the ones that fall in love with “who they shouldn’t” unexpectedly, and “mistakenly,” desperately wishing it wasn’t the case. This isn’t a topic that you need to dwell upon or let keep you up at night, it is something that you just need to accept, you need to be able to love yourself for who you are and look past the hostility.  It’s your life.

The desire to feel accepted by those who you love often acts as an impediment to truly being yourself.  Individuals are constantly living in fear of how the ones who care most will react to their truth, this isn’t how it should be.  Love shouldn’t have labels.  Love shouldn’t be circumstantial.  

Love isn’t forced, and it isn’t wrong.  These are two concepts that I feel are frequently blown out of proportion by individuals within society who believe that they are better off conforming to what the collective views as “normal.”  Despite our progressive movements within the past few years, traditionalist manners persist throughout our societies across the globe acting as an obstruction to some people’s’ freedom.

  1. You can’t be forced to fall in love.  People often forget this, they believe that just because their parents say this or their friends say that, that their emotions can only be validated through an outside or external force. This isn’t the case and it should never be, you should never attempt to fabricate your emotions in order to fit in with the “norms of society.”  WHO YOU LOVE, IS WHO YOU LOVE, no one should make you question this.  Regardless of whether those acting as “stressors” are your parents, friends, or merely a random passerby with nothing more to offer than a judgemental glance or snarky comment, you should be proud of who you are and who you love,  I can’t stress that enough.  
  2. It might feel scary but it  isn’t wrong to feel the way you do. I feel like this is such a common concept, people try to instantly convince themselves that it’s wrong to feel new emotions because it’s just, “not the way they are,” or it’s, “only this one person.”  Your emotions are not meant to scare you, listen to yourself and yourself only. There isn’t something wrong with you simply because you’re open to loving freely. Love is a beautiful thing once you find it, be open to finding it, don’t deny this from yourself.  

So if you’re an individual who needed this message, if you have been up all night wondering why you feel the way you do, if you feel like you just can’t accept how you feel, if you feel like your love depends on your friends or your family, like it isn’t in your hands…. Look further than the backlash, conquer your fear; don’t let it get to you, love yourself and others freely.  This is your life, only you get to decide what you do with it.

Shadow of Courage

At this time, I came with two pictures.

Firstly; I took it at my old high school which is also a primary school too. I immediately went to the courtyard where I could find the pure joy of youth. I didn’t have to take so many steps when I found this little boy, who was so excited, scared, happy and nervous. He was playing hide-and-seek. 
I captured him alone, alone with his feelings and his atmosphere. He was hidden and I didn’t want to take it from him. 
We can also see a tree shadow, an opened and a closed space. Hiding from the other playing kids and from the time (clock shadow) until he has to be a normal student again. When we were in his shoes, we always looked that clock. “How much time we have, feeling this freedom?” The magical freedom without being stressed, controlled, scared, nervous. 
But the boy felt both sides of feelings while he was playing.

And secondly; I finally was in France, Paris. The people immediately caught my attention, there were so many glad kids. I was always looking for a chance to perpetuate this kind of feeling that I want to be a child again. A better child (I’m not talking about my behavior). We didn’t use to play in a public area or went to a park. My mother was working, my brother and I played in our big garden. It was our playground, but I had a private place where can I ‘share’ my childhood. It was difficult for me to play wildly with other strange kiddywinks.
This BRAVE girl with her glasses and trendy roller shows me the opposite of me. The better me.

chapter one: the broken girl in the coffee shop

chapter one: the broken girl in the coffee shop

she was not the type of girl to wait around after school just to watch you walk to your locker.

she would not wait around at the coffee shop after your practice just to watch you order your large strawberry flavoured water and yoghurt parfait cup.

she would not give you the answers to yesterday’s homework no matter how important that game or practice was, ” or was it a party this time?” she’d ask in an almost sarcastic tone.

she was a tough one, there was a certain stubbornness to her that you admired.

her light brown eyes had seen some of the darkest days you are yet to experience, but you loved it, you loved how she managed to get through it all.

she was not dying to get to know you, but god knows you would do anything to get to know her better.

the quiet girl who just transferred from california, was that her name? her name!  you don’t even know her name.

you started to stay after school to get a glance of her on her way to her car, backpack half open, hair a mess.  it was cute.  you thought it was cute.

after your practice at the coffee shop you would glance around hoping some day she would be sitting alone reading her favourite book, then you’d approach her right then and there and get her name.

weeks go by, she seems to have disappeared.  you see her occasionally when walking from class to class.

apparently, she has been seeing someone. someone who you know is not any good for her, but as long as she is happy right?

one night in the coffee shop you glance over at the brunette girl with light brown eyes sitting next to someone.

you hear the pain in her words as she opens her mouth, voice trembling, ” we were doing so well”

minutes go by and there she is alone.  wiping the tears off of her rosy cheeks.

you grew angry with yourself, why didn’t you comfort her? why didn’t you go and sit by her? ask her if she was okay?

these thoughts attacked your panicked mind until you got up and walked over.

there you were sitting next to the broken girl in the coffee shop.

no words were exchanged, as she placed her head in the warmth of your embrace.

she doesn’t have her car, so you’ll drive her home.

you won’t ever forget that rainy night or the dark pink and purple sky.

she lives close but you don’t mind taking her.  you hope she feels better, and not alone.

you got up and out of your chair, let her feel her emotions without having to hide them behind her grey tear stained sweatshirt.  drove her home so she’d be safe.  you offered to stay in case she didn’t want to be alone.

little do you know she’ll remember this night forever

mt

 

WWII Couple- Together Forever

featured image via Scoopnest 

World War II was a time of misery, hatred, and death for many. Death counts reached millions and sorrows were never forgotten. For most, the pain of the war has passed, as they likely have as well. But for these orphans, pain, and tranquillity, has been renewed.

Marcelin and Francine Dumoulin left their home on the morning of August 15, 1942 to milk the family cows in a meadow, but sadly, they never returned home. The couple, who were parents of six children, are suspected to have fallen through a crevice of the Tsanfleuron Glacier in the Swiss Alps. Now, 75 years later, their bodies have been found, ‘mummified’, in the withdrawn glacier. A worker is said to have found them during standard maintenance. Found along with them was frozen belongings of theirs including backpacks, boots, watches, mess kits, etc. The bodies have since been airlifted away from the Alps so The Institute of Forensic Medicine can officially identify the bodies. Though DNA tests have not yet been done the remaining Dumoulin children(Marceline Udry-Domoulin, Monique Gautschy-Domoulin, the only known living) are convinced that the bodies found belong to their deceased parents.

Marceline said “I can say that after 75 years of waiting this news gives me a deep sense of calm. Now I know where my parents are” And Monique stated “(For the funeral) I will not put on black. I think white will be more appopriate. This represents hope, which I have never lost.”

No Going Back

Adrenaline rushed through my veins, I had a perfect shot. I pushed the bi-pod to the ground, steadying my shot. Looking through the site I caught his arm in my line of view. Taking my head away from the deadly weapon, a smirk found it’s way upon my face. Time slowed, I could feel wind rushing by my ears, only emphasizing the blood pounding in my brain. I paused, taking in my surroundings. To my left, storm clouds moved close at an alarming rate, making the evening sky an even darker hue. On the right was a couple, gazing lovingly at each other. Light glinted off of an engagement ring, slapping the smirk of my face and replacing it with a scowl. I felt rage bubble up inside of me, I should have that! That should be me and Aashi! It’s been three years since our wedding day, three years since I opened my mouth to chant ‘I do’, three years since I’ve been waiting for this moment. Three years!

I took a deep breath through my nose, smelling everything around me. Baked goods from the bakery in front of me, spices floating from the restaurant through the air. Trees and nature behind me, luring me into a sense of security. I could smell the incoming storm raging beside me, hear the thunder claps it brings with it wherever it goes. Lowering my head to the site one last time, a million thoughts polluted my brain with a murky smog. This is my last chance. I have one shot, one shot, this is the last moment I will have without eyes peering down my back, ready to attack. After this, I know my fate. Prison. Others may know this as the day I threw my life away for the sake of revenge, but I will know, I did not have a life to throw away, because Brock Johnson killed me the day he shot my wife, Aashi Patel.

Forefinger on the trigger, my thumb moved and pulled the safety. I glanced one last time to make sure Johnson was in the dead center of my target. As I exhaled I pulled back on the trigger, getting ready to release the pressure and end it all. I relax my muscles and-

Scream

Pain shoots through my back and I feel a warm wetness drip down my back. My breath is shaky, I try to turn and see what happened but I fall to the ground, blood pooling up underneath me. I cough, vaguely tasting iron and feeling a thick substance running out of my mouth. It feels like lives have passed, but some small part of my brain tells me it’s scarcely been minutes. Heavy breaths and sobs attempt to dive through my body, but fail miserably. My brain moves a mile a minute trying to sit back up and just shoot! I feel my breaths get shallower and farther apart as my brain gets dimmer. I faintly hear screams coming from around me and a child crying. I could feel someone’s feet pounding on the ground, putting their hand on my shoulder.

Ma’am? Ma’am are you alright? What is your name? There is help on the way. Their voice sounded hollow, like they were underwater. Or maybe I was underwater.

I turned my head so I looked at the sky. The storm was upon us and rain was pouring down, teardrops falling from the sky mixing with the raindrops leaking from my eyes. A new storm arriving as an old one leaves. A smile played on my lips. My eyes shifted from the storm to the woman attempting to comfort me.

“It’s okay” I whisper, to myself or the woman, I do not know. I inhale as much as I can, and exhale one last time. Because I know, this time, there’s no going back.

The 5 Best Songs Off Of Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom

On June 2nd, 2017, alt-pop singer Ashely Nicollette Frangipane (better known as Halsey) released her highly anticipated sophomore album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom. HFK is a concept album based on the story of Romeo and Juliet. Sound-wise, HFK differentiates from Halsey’s previous album Badlands in the sense that it sounds much more R&B influenced than rock, though Halsey still considers herself an alternative artist. Without further ado, here are my top five favorite songs from Halsey’s sophomore record Hopeless Fountain Kingdom.

5. Sorry

Serving as one of few ballads on the album, “Sorry” is about unrequited love, except in this scenario Halsey is the one who doesn’t feel the same about someone who seemingly loves her.“Someone will love you, but someone isn’t me.” she sings vulnerable over a piano in the post-chorus. “Sorry” is definitely a tear-jerker, and really showcases Halsey’s vocal skills.

4. Walls Could Talk

Upon first listen, this is the song that immediately stuck out to me. Sound-wise, “Walls Could Talk” is very reminiscent of Maroon 5’s early days. “And I’m thinking, “Damn, if these walls could talk” Well, they’d be like “Shit is crazy, right? That ain’t your baby no more”” she sings in the chorus. My only complaint about this song is that I wish it was longer, as it clocks in at only one minute and forty-two seconds.

3. Bad At Love

On this track, Halsey goes through the history of her previous relationships and details what went wrong with each of them. She ultimately comes to the conclusion that she is bad at love and relationships in general. “I’m bad at love but you can’t blame me for tryin’, you know I’d be lyin’ sayin’ you were the one that could finally fix me. Lookin’ at my history I’m bad at love.” she belts in the chorus. This track is definitely one of the more upbeat R&B-esque moments on the record.

2. 100 Letters

“100 Letters” is a pop ballad in which Halsey sings of a previous relationship where she tried to make things work with her partner and ultimately failed. The lyrics are inspired heavily by Romeo and Juliet in the sense she felt like she was living it. “I’m going through this relationship where I feel like a version of myself and a version of himself are dying for the sake of wanting to make our love work,” she said of the song. “100 Letters” has a painstakingly relatable chorus in which Halsey sings “And now I can’t stop thinking that I can’t stop thinking that I almost gave you everything. And now the whole thing’s finished and I can’t stop wishing that I never gave you anything.”, something that everyone who’s ever gone through a breakup can relate to.

Alone

“Alone” was instantly my favorite the first time I listened, and has remained my #1 ever since. “Alone” is about someone’s desire to meet you, but insisting that once they do they’ll regret it. “I know you’re dying to meet me, but I can just tell you this. Baby, as soon as you meet me, you’ll wish that you never did.” she croons in the chorus. What makes “Alone” so special to me is the upbeat, infectious, sound the song carries. It is definitely one of the most danceable tracks on the record and is definitely sure to uplift your mood, just by the way it sounds.

Overall, Hopeless Fountain Kingdom is a stellar album. Halsey’s vision for the record really shines through, and even though it is a concept album it isn’t gimmicky. Each song has it’s own flair but still ties into one another very nicely and cohesively. If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend you check out Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom.

What is Love?

featured image via pinterest

*

“What is love?” She asked me, bright eyed and bushy tailed, while the storm raged on outside, beating on the ground almost as hard as you did on my heart.

Tears turning my vision blurry, refusing to look her in they eyes, I answered,

“Love is a passion that overwhelms you and takes your breath away before painting your vision scarlet. It grabs your hand, whispering in your ear, sending shivers down your spine trust me… before running so fast you don’t know if you can keep up. It forces you to try new things and makes you want to be better than you think you can, it’s a scary thing. It gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you head spin in circles while thinking sinful things. It’s the sound of soft giggles at four in the morning when you should be asleep but you just want to talk to them. It’s night and day merging together to create an eerily beautiful blur, every second since you took your first breath coursing through your veins at a million miles an hour. It’s your hopes and dreams mingling with your flaws and fears, preparing a wondrous pain that tortures you but keeps you living and you cherish every damn second of it. It’s the familiar feeling of waking up tangled in your bed sheets mixed with the amazing scares you encounter when you meet someone new. It’s nothing and everything formed together to create new colors, it’s the most hideous and gorgeous thing all at once,” Pausing, I took note that I had described my last happy moment with you. Taking a painful, shaky breath as though I was allergic to the air around me, I brought closure to my mind “It’s love, it’s life”