me and the skies

FEATURED MAGE VIA SPACE.COM BY CORY POOLE

i like to think that the evening sky and my mind are the same.

twins from different times meeting so close, yet so far.

the evening sky wondering, worrying, if it would ever evolve into dark nothingness,

or if twinkling lights would poke through,

little stars like little spots of hope shining through the constant worry.

a constant thought that shifts between what if and when,

the thought of ‘what if one day, we collide,

smashing together into oblivion,’

turns into the question of ‘when? when will we explode together in a violent ray of colors and emotions?’

i often ponder how and why as well.

how will it happen?

why does it happen?

in my deep thoughts, i like to believe that the how is in a horrendously beautiful explosion,

feeling colors and seeing sounds,

experiencing a new bliss that is so peaceful, it’s almost violent.

and when it comes to why, i like to imagine it’s because of fate.

when everything came together, when our world formed

there was some small, microscopic being that was left in the debris of the beginning,

that was there, to one day make me and the sky collide,

to bring two lost souls, separated so long ago, together once again.

when i was little, i would watch the evening sky, transtion in such a slow way,

subtle,

quiet,

so you don’t notice it has changed until it’s already  happened,

and now, as i grow, as i transition, i find another common ground between me and the evening sky

both changing in tiny, little, sneaking ways,

until one day, you wake up and find,

i’ve reunited with my once lost twin, from another time

I Started Taking Yoga Every Day. How Did It Help Me?

featured image via : Popust Plus 

I Started Taking Yoga Every Day. How Did It Help Me?

For those of you familiar with Yoga, you may know there are many different types of Yoga you can take.  For those of you not familiar with these types of yoga, they include  but are  not limited to: Hatha ( a basic slower-moving yoga class), Vinyasa ( a dynamic practice linking breath and movement together ),  Bikram ( a heated yoga in which you typically practice the 26-pose Bikram sequence, definitely a more vigorous practice ), and Hot Yoga * my personal favorite* ( obviously a heated yoga practice which is similar to Bikram yet not restricted to the 26 Bikram sequence).

These practices are some of the most common or popularly practiced types of Yoga.  There are many more including, Kundalini, Yin Yoga, Restorative Yoga etc.  This being said they all focus on different aspects of finding peace and focusing on your breath and bettering of your body.

After researching, and learning the many positive effects yoga can have on your body, and mental health I decided it was time I finally take action, and take my first yoga class.  Luckily, I am a flexible person, with 9 years of background it martial arts training I definitely have become extremely flexible which came to my advantage in my opinion.

Here is how my first three days went.

 

Day 1 :

The first thing I noticed when I walked into that heated room with my mother was the complete silence in the room.  It was intimidating I won’t lie, individuals of all ages stretching, in child’s pose, handstands. The only things going through my mind were, I hope they don’t expect me to be able to do that.  and If it stays this hot the whole time I think I might pass out.  

After 10 minutes of stretching, the class had started and I was excited.  I was attending a hot yoga ” Flow ” class with an AMAZING instructor.  She started us off with a little meditation, then had us go through many poses including: ” Downward Facing Dog” or Adho Mukha Svanasana in Sanskrit, Chair Pose or Utkatasana, Child’s Pose or Balasana, and Crescent Moon Pose or Ashta Chandrasana to name a few.

We ended our night with some more meditation and spent around 5 minutes completely stretching or meditation on our own.  Whichever we felt we needed most.

If I was to summarize my first real yoga class, I’d say it was the best idea I’ve had to take it.  I found myself completely in the moment, at peace, and just relaxed altogether.  As hesitant as I was I am so glad that I took this class.

 

Day 2:

I went to sleep after my yoga class last night, and I felt so at peace.  I woke up feeling great and well rested, and I was looking forward to taking my second class tonight!  I think it’s appropriate I mention, my mom is a yoga fanatic.  She attends yoga class regularly and now I finally understood first hand how beneficial and calming yoga really was.  She always tells me I’m missing out, and it’s super fun and let me tell you she was 100% correct.  I can not explain how much the first class of yoga benefited me.

I took a different class today, Warrior Sculpt in a heated room again with another AMAZING instructor.  Let me be honest with you. This class kicked my butt.  Yoga itself is not a walk in the park, try doing it with weights in 100+ degree weather.  It’s like a soothing yet painful slow death.  All jokes aside, this class was definitely not easy at all but I loved it.  With different workouts and poses to work different parts of your  body, I walked out of that class sweaty, sore, but super happy.  Definitely a class I will return to.

The only thing going through my mind when I went to sleep that night was : I feel great now, I hope I can still walk tomorrow. Might I say, I am attending a 5:00 AM Yoga class tomorrow for my mom’s birthday. Wish us luck.

 

Day 3

It is currently 4:30 AM and I am half asleep filling up both my mom’s and my water bottle.  We are going to heated ” Flow ” yoga at 5:00 AM, and I am super excited and super sore!  Might I add, none of my hoping worked and I am so sore that I can’t even sit down but I don’t mind!

We arrived at the gym, and I was surprised to see class was full with over 25 people!  I never thought anyone would wake up that early on their weekend to attend a yoga class, until I attended my first class.

We started off our class with some meditation, and light music and to my surprise I had accidentally walked into a Flow core session yoga.  5 AM core workout. Not my best idea.  After my mom and I pushed through our core workout, we got into a more mellow/ cool down part of class in which we stretched, and practiced basic yoga poses.

I was extremely happy with this class.  Regardless of the fact I had no clue I was about to get a core workout at 5 AM, this class honestly was a great way to start my day.  I walked out of it refreshed, and ready to take on whatever the day had in store for me.  My mom and I had so much fun taking that class together, and I look forward to continuing yoga with her.

 

Final Thoughts

I am so so happy with my decision to attend yoga classes every day.  This week, I noticed so many different positive changes in my lifestyle and mood.  I felt completely relaxed and at peace with myself and my surroundings.  The many different classes that I took really worked my body, but in such a great way.  No matter how sore I felt, I found myself waking up eager to attend class, and eager to take on the day.

Despite being hesitant to try yoga, and be surrounded by experienced yogi’s after my first class I really understood what everyone meant when they told me yoga is solely for myself.  I did not have to compete with anyone, or try any of the things anyone around me was doing.  I did everything I wanted, and everything I wanted to do.  Just like starting any sport, it takes time to grow and advance.

In this one week, I noticed my levels of anxiety significantly decreasing.  I learned to focus on my breathing and to live in the moment rather than stressing about what is to come.  Aside from this I also noticed I began to become less and less stressed about the little things that always seem to get me tense and stressed out.  Taking 1-2 hours of yoga a day significantly improved my days and feelings this week.

In conclusion, I can honestly  say I will continue to take 1-2 yoga classes every day with my mom, and strongly advise you guys to take yoga at least once or twice a week.  The effects it has on you overall are so rewarding, and you will be so content with the results.

Until next time,

Namaste.

Alternative Nostalgia

3A651474-015C-48D6-BE3A-4A046A25A9CC.jpgLife. We can’t explain it. But we know we’re living in it.

Life. We meet people, we learn. We create memories in it.

Life goes on. We miss the good times, the times where we felt alive. The times where we had no regrets. Where all we were thinking about was how we were feeling in that very moment. The moment was ours, and it was precious.

We miss those moments. Nostalgia. I can say that I have experienced this feeling countless times. I miss people who have come into my life for a reason. But we can’t get those moments back, and can’t be with those we wish to see. But we can remeber, and that’s it. We only have the memory, and the feeling.

This is what photography does for me. I take photos to remember. I want to feel again. I take photos to regain the emotions I have felt from those moments. Every second of everyday there is a new moment to capture. Moments that I can never get back. I can shape the moment into what I want, just by looking into my 18-135mm lens and pressing the photo button with my right index finger, and hearing the camera shutter and click. There. Moment captured. No undoing it.

On Thursday August 3rd, I embarked on another journey to Mexico. I visited Mexico City, Guadalajara, Tequila (to the east of Guadalajara),and Mazatlan.

On the way back from visiting Tequila, I threw on some headphones and reviewed some photos on my camera that I had taken that day on the trip so far.

While listening to Ana Sun by Walk the Moon, I look at the reflection on my camera screen and notice an ambre of oranges, reds, and pinks. I look behind me to see something unexpected and miraculous. I look to find an epiphany of a sunset, and the rays are penetrating through the windows and caressing the faces of the other people in the car with me.

I begin to film and photograph this marvel, and as the beat in the song gets lounder and stronger, a rush of emotion came over me. It’s one of those unexplainable emotions that we as human beings cannot express, or that we cannot understand, a mystery of the universe. But it was good. I felt at ease, and nothing could ruin that moment for me.

Ultimately, what I felt at this moment was an eye opening. I felt grateful for all the blessings I have in my life, and grateful for all the memories I have made and cherished, and all the people that have come into my life, whether of not they were impactful or not. Life is all about learning and growing, and certain people can teach us this.

I am thankful for the bad times, when I have been let down; those experiences have shaped me into a better person and I have learned from them. This is how I express myself through photgraphy. If I can capture something and it sets off a rush of emotion and feeling within someone, that is all the satisfaction an artist needs.

Thank you, and I hope to share more soon 🙂

Check out my work on Instagram: @briana.gif

Watching

The world is

going up in flames.

we’re watching the people

made of cotton

burn it all down

 

and everyone else is

screaming.

 

isn’t it crazy?

how we’re so loud

and they won’t listen.

how we sit powerlessly in a

city hours away

and watch the house next door

burn away.

 

we are arguing about

paint,

pygmit,

melanin.

we’re arguing about the people

that aren’t in magazines.

 

The people that

make up our world.

 

I’m watching a movie.

evil films from the past.

all of these years blur

Into one

a mass of pain,

pain for the masses.

 

Nothing has changed.

 

fin.

Beauty

     I have never met anyone capable of saying “beautiful.” I have never met anyone strong enough to comment on the wonders of the world that way. Are you capable of saying beautiful? Are you strong enough? When the word slips out does it taste awkward and new? Strange and unused? Are you sincerely commenting on the world?

     Does he tell you that you are beautiful when you are shattering? When you are sitting in the bathroom in a pool of tears wondering why you keep going? Does he hold you like you are made of porcelain? Does he watch you dream, wishing you would wake up to say your watercolor face is beautiful? If he does he is capable. He is strong enough.  

     You’ll feel like you aren’t strong enough sometimes. You’ll feel like you want to scream, but you can hardly whisper. You scoff and roll your eyes and sarcastically say it’s beautiful, even if you love the old lace, memories, and flowers.  If you are not ready to speak your truth to someone, if you are not ready to be your true, vulnerable, and floral self, then chances are they are not worthy of knowing it. But you’ll beat yourself up, because you’re scared. You don’t owe them anything.

     There’s a world out there, my dear, and it’s confusing to try to understand what you are going to do with it. Because part of you wants to know where the outside goes, and the other part in terrified. And are you ever going to let us know? Are you actually going to fly away, or are you only going to live in you mind. I beg you, go outside. Go outside with your new ability to say “beautiful” and find the things in the world worth seeing.

INSOMNIA

There’s always something so beautiful about the night,

you don’t usually notice that because you’re sleeping or you should be,

that’s what I keep telling myself,

everything still, natural as the day it was created

 

I twist, I turn, take another glimpse at the clock on the wall,

I sit there watching the hours go by, darkness turn to light

I hear the birds calling and with that comes the harsh reality,

This isn’t normal.

 

Everyone tells me to ‘chill out’, if only it was as easy as that,

I know it’s only sleeping but, it forms a big part of the bodies functions,

I’m not living anymore, I’m just existing

I sit in school, barely learning, I myself am barely functioning.

 

When will this end, when will I be myself again,

Everything I loved, everything I hated, it circulates in my mind

I want to get better but, I just don’t know how,

If there is a god up there, take me from this.

 

This poem is a short representation of how some people who suffer from insomnia feel, It’s always important that if you are having trouble sleeping, you let someone know whether that be a parent, a friend or a doctor.